Son-
Your mom is 25 weeks and as round as a Chinese Buddha! This is what I thought when I looked in the mirror Monday morning. My friends coo and touch and laugh about how HUGE I am, but strangers and acquaintances still raise their eyebrows suspiciously. "Aren't you a little small for 6 months?"
At a Valentine's Day party last weekend, half the women in the room are pregnant. I cozy up to the hostess, a first time mom of a one-year-old. I work up the courage to ask if she enjoys parenting. I tell her I know how good it is, how blessed and rewarding, how miraculous and wonderful... but I what I really want to know is if she likes the day-to-day work of rearing a little tot. She hesitates before saying that yes, yes, she does enjoy it... But then she blushes and admits that she didn't enjoy it at first.
Nurse Brenda says she didn't enjoy parenting until her firstborn started to smile at her. She said after six weeks of manual labor, when she saw that little crescent spread across her daughter's face, she finally felt known and appreciated! Maybe you could start practicing your smiles now so your dad and I have an easier time of things this June?
In our meeting Wednesday, Nurse Brenda told me something I haven't been able to forget. She said you cry in the womb, but of course your cries are muted by all the amniotic fluid, placenta, and flesh that separates us. I can't tell you how much this distresses me. I picture you trapped and bawling silently, like a goldfish in a Ziplock bag on the way home from the fair. We'll get you out of there soon, I promise!
As usual, we never quite stop talking and thinking about you, little one.
Always in love, your mama.
